College: The Next Grand (Mis)Adventure

It weirds me out when sci-fi shows collide with the trashy tv shows I secretly watch. And the worst part is not having anyone to tell! 

Oh my god, my life does not suck as much as it did this time last week. Are my crappy grades suddenly better? No. Am I suddenly amazingly productive? No. Am I no longer doomed to ultimately be a failure? No. Is my elbow no longer slightly bruised? No. 

But I do have all my registered classes and I still have my housing assignment for next semester!!! 

And no, even if you ask my nicely, I will not tell you how I almost lost these things.

I knew that fate couldn’t possibly hate me as much as I thought it did last week when everything was going wrong, including falling on my ass down a short carpeted stairwell when I tried to get my shoes and leave a friend’s house in front of her ENTIRE family.

But no, I’m still not going to tell you how I almost lost housing or class registration.

I have to admit, my week long funk where I watched about 80 episodes of Stargate Atlantis to melt my brain and drown my sorrow and didn’t leave the house for a couple days straight and maybe didn’t even bother to change out of my pajamas because I was worried that I was going to have to tell my Mom that I was being forced to take a semester of leave from Wellesley because I didn’t realize that there would be consequences for not paying my school bill before January 13th because the website only listed January 20th as the date to note because Wellesley’s websites all suck because I didn’t check my e-mail when they sent me a very urgent warning e-mail telling me that I was doomed because I went snow-boarding, which would have brought eternal shame to, most importantly, my parents, but also to me, and because I knew that everyone in my family was going to yell at me because everyone in the my family yells at me in order to be “helpful,” though really it’s anything but, and it always makes me want to smash something and once I did, and that was the extent of my teenage rebellion but I’ll tell that story later, and I would be henceforth kicked out of the long-lived and widely spread and prosperous Chen clan for being a failure, and finally I would have tangible proof that I’m a waste of air, and proceeding to shrivel in on myself because the weight of my stressful burden was weighing down on me and I couldn’t tell anyone because it was all because of my own damn stupidity and I knew that perfectly, seems a little sad in retrospect but hell yeah Stargate Atlantis is awesome and I plan on watching all the episodes of Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Universe next (goodbye GPA and good riddance!).

But no, I’m still not telling you how I almost lost precious on-campus housing and my classes. 

No worries, friends and loved ones. All is well! So… there is no need to speak of this incidence ever again. And if anyone brings this up in real life, I will pretend I have no idea what you’re talking about, but if you want to give me a hug or cookies because I lost years of my life fretting for the last week, I will gladly accept them.